Friday, April 30, 2010

lonely

Suddenly this feeling hunted me again. Not long before, I felt empty and alone. Now, the feeling come back again. I just don’t like to feel alone. Guess no one does. Not knowing why, feel that I am difficult to talk with. Some tend to use other’s mouth to deliver the message. Am I really that difficult to you? Are my personalities that build up the barrier among us? Though I don’t think I have problem with it. It is just me. Sometimes I do put on a mask that make you guys feel I am easy to approach, but the mask is just too heavy. Instead of fooled by my mask, why not just accept the real me? I am no different from other ordinary girls. Just a little bit independent, a little bit too adventurous, a little bit too talkative, a little bit too active. Just a little extra from usual, it is not wrong right? Each people do have weakness, so do I. there is just no 100% perfect person.

Written on: 26 april 2010 at 2230

Friday, April 23, 2010

outing...

Having a day trip with my roommates. Time flies and I was come to the end of second
year, next week will be the final examination that we all have waited for so long. Just wish to end it smooth and well with great results.
Today, we starts our trip at around 1030. Suppose to have the car at a1000. Probably the person who going to rent us car are overslept, delaying our time. Our first stops suppose to be the aquarium, UMS. Too bad that it is closed on Wednesday. Just do chance to go there although have been 2 years here. Since our 1st visits was not success, tha we move to our next destination, taman tun Mustapha. Location was just besides the kampong Nelayan, nearby ‘Hospital Mesra Bukit Padang’. At the park, there is waterfront which cost RM10. Looks alike mini Sunway for me, but really mini.after the visits, having our lunch at Upperstar. Then move to Peak Nam Thong to take some photograph.
After the stops, continue to the observatory hills and again, photographing. Continuing our trip to the wetlands, nearby the hills too, again photographing. The day was just fills with photographs, walks, sweats and sun. Just starting from the beginning we just keep on sweating, walking and photogrqaphing. But it is fun! After the wetlands, having ice kacang at asia city, where we actually on our way to sutera harbor for photographing section again.
Around 1700 we move to menara tun Mustapha, having our drinks at atmosphere while enjoying the sunset. Feel a little of dizzy upstairs. Guess not so use with the spinning and walking around the tower. The atmosphere there was really romantic, enjoying sunset and drinks, feel like sleeping at there. After the stops, we head to city mall and have some shopping there and dinner there. Around 2130 we back to UMS. Everyone was tire and sleepy by the time. Just sweating too much in a day.
Overall, the whole day was fun with my roommate. It was simply just roommate’s day and final farewell for our roommate which she is spending her last month with us. Guess will miss the two year time of living together. All the best girl!

















power distance? selfish?

Some people just like to set a very high power distance with others. Guess it is just too Malaysian style by setting this invisible barrier. I am so ‘lucky’ to have the chance working with this type people. Just making my life not easy at all. Keep on demanding me to anything last minutes, expecting me to get it done by the same day the request was made.
I should not talking the bad things behind them, but bottom it up in my heart making me uneasy either. I rather expressed it here and share my emotion! This people were never making people’s life easy. Like to demand at last minutes and not giving clear instruction too. At first was like this, few hours later ask to stop it and change. What the…
By the way, this people never appreciate what other have done to them. They will take the credits and putting the blame on others. Just getting tired working with this group of people. Not only demanding at last minutes and easy get mad of others. It is not mandatory to tell them everything right? I need some personal space too! That decision was on my personal matter and it is no right for you to interfere at all. By the way, I am not spending your time and money! What the hack that you want to know such details? I am not working under you for the life time okay!
Since the people like to set such a high power distance, let it be. I don’t care at all. But, at least have some communication with me. Not everything is under your control! If without the group work, it can’t be success in such a short period of time.
Well, things are getting over soon and I know it is no use I mentioning it here. I should talk to them face to face, yet I just can’t do it. Probably still ‘respecting’ them. Is it worth for me to respect? I should have say no. I just can’t see any uniqueness within them. Just tons of weakness…
Written on 14 April 2010, 0100.

Monday, April 12, 2010

free

Finally come to the last class for Japanese. I am so happy after all the hard work i have done for the video. Just use up so many of my time in recording annd editing. So far, quite satisfy with it although it is tiring and stressing when all not in our plan.

After three semester of taking Japanse, not sotorturing actually. Just feel lonely in the class. Too many strangers in the class. Hahaha... But it is fun to learn new language indeed. Quite enjoying, yet alone. Now, just left the final examination for japanese, and i will be free from it. Wondering why when i was atching anime, i don't feel lonely? Nah, probably the intention of learning is different. Taking the language means i have to pass the test. But not with anime. Hahaha... At last, i am free....

stressing...

Sometimes really don't understand them. Some people just don't know to tailor their shirt. Always demanding more, in fact they know nothing. Just because they see it before, it doesn't mean that everyone had know about it. I know that making it perfect was great, but it does not means that i have to stay up so late dying for your things! i need rest too k! Luckily after this, no longer to keep up all those things!

Sunday mood

Sitting in front of my laptop, trying to finishing tons of assignment. Whenever looking at the words make me feels sleepy and tire. Luckily I still have an off day tomorrow yet need to prepare myself for the oral test on Tuesday. Just hoping I could do well on it.
Hearing the storm, wondering will it be raining today? Hopefully yes! It has been months the sky does not pouring down water. Every day it is so hot until experiencing the sleeping in sweat. Probably were the challenges we need to face.
Listening to Derita Merindu by ahli Fiqir now. The lyric was quite good, and the melody was similar to an English songs. Can’t really remember what English song is that. Some of the words in it was really true.

Kaulah bahagia,
Kaulah derita,
esok lusa mu,
tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa
Sekiranya derita merindu itu bahagia, aku pilih derita…

Trying to search for the full lyrics of the song. It was a nice song indeed.